When An Author Vents Her Frustration
by Therese Delacoeur
Summary: What NOT to do in a CCS fanfic, in my opinion. A series of parodies on badly-written stories -- no plot, no characterization, etc. Rated for implied lemon scenes. Enjoy! No flames, please -- I'm not attacking anyone, just bad IRL writing.


**A/N: Okay, so I'm really frustrated with a bunch of my IRL friends. They tell me they want to write CCS stories, and then the stuff they give me is terrible, and then they won't take my advice! So I'm venting my frustration at them by providing examples of what I think CCS authors should really avoid in their writing. Please enjoy! (And no flames, please.)**

**Disclaimer: THESE ARE JUST MY OPINION! I'm sure a really good author could pull some of these off – I (and my IRL friends) can't.**

**Oh, and I don't own CCS. These are just for fun.**

_**An Author Vents Her Frustration**_

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**PARODY #1: When Shippers Attack**

Syaoran and Sakura are walking together by Penguin Park. All of a sudden, they blurt out, "I love you!" and kiss. And kiss. And kiss…

The End

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**PARODY #2: When Shippers Go Mad pt 1**

Syaoran and Sakura are walking (again) by Penguin Park. They are joined by Eriol, who slaps Sakura.

"He's my man, bee-otch!" And Syaoran and Eriol kiss, leaving a very confused Sakura to fend for herself in a cruel, OOC world.

The End

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**PARODY #3: When Shippers Go Mad pt 2**

Clow Reed has been lusting after his neighbor's Siamese cat for as long as he's lived in Hong Kong. Knowing he has but a few months in which to confess his forbidden love before he dies, he, ah, _liberates_ Miss Fuu-Fuu Kitty and begins to make little cat-people, who continue to live in the sewers of Hong Kong today.

Several thousand years later, Eriol Hiragizawa begins to look at Tomoyo's cat Moopsey-Poopsey with a strange light in his eyes…

The End

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**PARODY #4: When Shippers Go Mad pt 3**

Syaoran really doesn't 'love' Sakura. He loves the Bubble Card. It makes him get all hot and sweaty when he imagines the Bubble Card in his bathtub.

He eventually destroys the Bubble Card's card prison and ditches Sakura so he and the Bubble Card can go make little bubble-children in his bathtub.

The End

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**PARODY #5: When Authors Decide Not To Get Left Out Of The Action**

Therese Delacoeur is secretly in love with Syaoran. She 'dreams' about killing Sakura so that she and Syaoran can make passionate love to one another, then finds that she wasn't actually dreaming – she'd been transported to the CCS universe in her sleep and there was no way for her to return.

Then she ends up pregnant with Syaoran's child and lives happily ever after with her boyfriend and ruins Tomoyo's clothing career so that she can launch her own wildly popular clothing line.

The End

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**PARODY #6: When Authors Don't Know About Spell-Check/Use Net Speak/Etc.**

So syshoaw-ran nda sackura are seecrtley in love w/1 anthr live 4 like evr w/o evr tllng NEBoDie. Tehn like they finealy tell eech othr that they love eech othr.

(And then they kiss. And kiss. And kiss…)

The End

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**PARODY #7: When Characters Just Aren't Themselves**

Tomoyo and Sakura are crazed psychopaths who are killing everyone at Tomoeda High because they wanted to try out a pair of brand-new semi-automatic pistols Touya bought off his drug dealer for them.

Eriol and Syaoran, while continuing to make out from Parody #2, fly back to England so that they won't get shot by the crazed psychopaths, not caring about any of the people who _are_, in fact, dying in front of them.

Once everyone else in Tomoeda is dead, Tomoyo and Sakura kill each other. Eriol and Syaoran live happily ever after, entirely free from guilt.

The End

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**PARODY #8: When Readers Go o.O**

Eriol, Syaoran, and Moopsey-Poosey are having, like, a 3-wya whn Sakura Tomoyo interrupt them dna shoout them. Then Therese apeeers dna keals sahkura and tumoiyoh in revenge for killing her secret lover Moopsey-Poopsey but discovers love again when the Bubble Card emerges and starts making out with her. And they kiss. And kiss. And kiss.

The End

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**A/N: Hey, these were kinda fun to write! I hope that y'all like them. And now I can look at my friend's stuff and not feel like killing them. Thank you for participating in my therapy writing.**


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